Have you finally orgasmed yet?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
