i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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