Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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