Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
