So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
