is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
