I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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