Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
