Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
