I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
