wat bout pragnant strippers??
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
