Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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