The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize
