You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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