she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
