Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
