Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
