eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
