If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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