pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
