Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
