can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
