She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
