I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
