I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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