He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
