YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
