How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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