found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
