she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
