they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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