We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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