Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
