I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
