he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Vodka?
Forever.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
