So drunk, too bad you don't want this
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
