He is an equal opportunity slut.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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