You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
