OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
