I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
