guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
