dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
