If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
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