i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
