Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
