It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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