grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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