Me too!
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
