my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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