i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
People in love make me want to vomit
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
