Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
