fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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