we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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