shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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