so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Never underestimate the power of titties
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
