He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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