they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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