I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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